Fitness Friday - Signs of progress?

Two weeks into fitness Fridays and finally what might be a sign of progress. I fully understand that two pounds is well within the natural weight variations of the human body, but it has been quite a while since I've seen anything below 250, so 249 is a win. Next week should be a better indicator.

I have once again found a sworn enemy of fitness progress ... this one so sneaky and subversive as to invade the very bedroom where I sleep. Once the bedroom is compromised, can any place be safe?

My humble alarm clock (soon to be replaced btw) has been perfectly functional for about seven years now, almost as long as I have been married. All this time of loyal service has had a dark side though as I have become increasingly friendly with the snooze button.

There was a time in life when I regularly got out of bed with plenty of time to spare for a relaxing morning including exercise.

Being a night owl, it is easy to justify sleeping as long as possible into the a.m. Unfortunately, the results of staying up late are not the same as those of getting up early. It is more than a shift of the timing of my day. There are consequences in productivity, activity and even civility. If I'm dragging my way into the day, even coffee seems less effective.

So I will try to break the habit. The alarm stays at 5:30 (yes even on Saturday) and I am forbidden to hit snooze.

If you are worried about Renee, have no fear. She is a classic morning person and would love for me to join her. So there will be that benefit as well ... some great time to spend in conversation without other distractions that accumulate during the day.

One more thing about this... I call it the 'snooze' verse of the Bible, Proverbs 6, verses 10-11.

¹⁰ A little extra sleep, a little more slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest—
¹¹ then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit;
scarcity will attack you like an armed robber.

A little extra sleep (SNOOZE). A little more slumber (SNOOZE)

A little folding of my hands under my pillow as I stay in the warm spot under the blankets...

I told you the alarm clock was out to ruin things.

Don J.

P.S. Last week's fitness enemy Ms. Jean did come to the office today and I still feel guilty about not buying anything.

The last throes of freedom?

With Joshua's arrival looming on the horizon, a lot of well-meaning friends have suggested that we "sleep now, because you won't sleep much after he gets here."

On the contrary, I think now is the time to revel in spending precious free time doing spontaneous things that just can't happen when the baby is here.

For example.... Wednesday I was told about a band that was coming to perform Thursday night at First Baptist Dallas called Future of Forestry. A quick youtube search looked very promising so I asked a good friend of mine (who is single and can do whatever he pleases) if he wanted to go.

Voila, one day later I enjoyed one of the best concerts I have been to all year, and discovered a band that I will likely listen to for the rest of my life.

Parenthood will change all of this. Rocking bands will play second fiddle to Veggie Tales tunes. Spontaneous nights will be a thing of the past. Jumping at opportunities to go out with friends will be out the window for a while.

But the hope that I hear from dads around me is that priorities change as well. The self-focused nature of life as DINKs can be transformed by the responsibility and love of family.

I work in schools a lot, and it is easy to see that at the root of many relationship problems between kids and parents is the parents' continued demand for freedom over responsibility.

Experienced people tell me how much we will miss freedom, and there is no doubt in me about that. But it is my hope and prayer that as each instance of sacrifice comes, we recognize it as part of the ties that bond us together.

Don J.

P.S. I'm serious about the band.. they were an extremely talented group playing well orchestrated songs. They have managed to put layers upon layers of sound together as a thing of beauty and expression of creation with a unique sound. And their treatment of Christmas music is some of the best I have heard in a long time.

It makes me sad that thousands of people will pack a stadium for manufactured pop groups with no depth or substance while some amazing poet musicians struggle to find audiences.

New Sono pics...

I'm going to be 'that dad' showing off pics all the time. It is just what I do!

So, today we finally got to see a good picture of Joshua's face in the sonogram. 23 weeks and looking good.

I must say that the sonographer lady (who is awesome) got a better snapshot than I did. Can you say alien baby?


Finally... my sweet wife having a look at her baby boy.. (she REALLY wanted a boy, so happy mama)


Everything is looking good, so praise the Lord, and keep us in your prayers!

Don J.

Insecurity

The mantra "Fake it 'til you make it" works for many situations and on many levels. I don't mean lying about something ... I mean honestly and intentionally jumping into situations that are above and beyond your experience for the purpose of growth.

Like being a parent. I will learn a lot between now and Joshua's birth. And I will fake the rest until I'm good at it.

There is another fakery that I really don't want my son to learn though, and it is rooted in insecurity.

For example...

The Nissan 350Z is a wonderful sports car... they were produced from 2002 to 2009. Its successor, the 370Z is supposed to be even better.

But why on earth would anyone feel the need to replace their 5 with a 7? Seriously friend, the people who care what number is on the back already know it is a 350 and laugh at you.

Do women have an equivalent to this? Fake designer handbags maybe?

My point is this... Even though this person's car is incredibly trivial, and I don't know the full story behind their badging upgrade, there is something sad about how much value we place in our logos.

And at what point does adopting fake logos become lying to ourselves about our own value or substance?

I want my son to be secure enough in himself and his value in God that being a fake for the world is not necessary.

There are plenty of media and marketing influences to blame, but the root of fakery is a lie to one's self.

Fitness Friday II - The Sequel

OK, so... one week after debuting Fitness Friday, the scale is no different. What gives?

I am, in fact, working on healthy habits. Cutting sodas, french fries and almost all fried foods for the week has been a good change. I have also ramped up the exercise a little bit with more light weights and some living room cardio.

Adding pizza (twice), two heavy mexican meals (both for good reasons) and a lot of Christmas party sweets is counterproductive.

Something I'm working on is identifying arch-enemies in the fight to lose weight. Because if you know your enemies, you can defeat them right?

And the first enemy is so very sneaky. You would never suspect her.

That's right, Grandma Jean is the enemy.

She is sweet and kind. She is grandmotherly. And by buying her sweet baked treats, I am really just helping a nice lady make ends meet.

Sometimes we joke around the office that if we stopped buying her goodies, she would become destitute, lose her home and go hungry. The problem is that I think in a lot of ways, and with a lot of things, I may actually let some of that mentality and rationalization take root.

It isn't really for me, so my self-destructive behavior is actually me sacrificing for the good of someone else. Yeah right.

The reality is that Grandma Jean also sells grapes. They are a good, healthier alternative to a big brownie or the super-tasty buttery cinnamon cake. And I could still support Grandma Jean.

I assume everyone has a 'grandma Jean' in some form or fashion, because we have tremendous capacity to justify what we really crave, even if it means leaving the truth behind.

Defeating an enemy like this is difficult, particularly once routines and expectations are set. Changing habits is hard and really takes some determination. And the self control to deny our own slavery to the old pattern.

Have a great weekend everyone,

Don J.

Next Friday... another Fitness Friday antagonist story.... stay tuned.

Husbanding: Being Creative (not just pro-creative :-))

From when we started dating, Renee and I always enjoyed creating things together, and we have nicely complementary sets of skills. She is artistic and gifted with things like color, texture, design, sewing, painting, and on and on and on... I can do manly stuff like saw and glue wood. She likes to scrapbook and I like to take pictures. We are a match, right?

Quick example ... this 3'x4' creation is over our dining table. The tree branches are tiny slivers of newspaper all glued on there. Crazy stuff. And I made the frame.

Early in our marriage, while we were in major house decorating mode, we really did a lot of creative things together. Since then our individual projects and wants seem to take more and more of our time and energy.

Sooooo... now that we have created a baby together, I think we also need to revisit and prioritize being creative together as a bonding experience.

And working on individual projects in adjoining rooms while listening to the same music does not count.

There is something about the exchange of ideas and accomplishing a shared goal that has positive repercussions in every other part of our relationship. All of the little projects will be the foundation of trust and communication for our biggest project.. parenting.

That also means I need to encourage, instigate and follow through on some of the projects that have been low on the priority list to shore up that foundation as much as possible before it gets crazy in here.

Accomplishing things together comes from shared goals. Shared goals come from communication and selflessness. Communication and selflessness are a result of trust and love. Trust and love come from faith.

Sooo... creating the baby may have been easier than creating a piece of art, but raising a son to be a good man? May the Lord smile on us!

What do you do to create shared accomplishment with your spouse?

Don J.

Manliness

We are having a boy. And that is awesome.

But like any parenting topic, opinions are split on whether boys or girls are better, easier, more fun or less trouble.

What I do know is that I want to pass on some old-fashioned traits of chivalry, manliness and responsibility. Renee, however, was less than excited when I dug out my old copy of "The von Hoffman Brothers Big Damn Book of Sheer Manliness."

From John Wayne and 'punkin chunkin' to Tommy guns and dirty jokes, this thing is full of what it means to be a guy.

Well, sort of.

I like being a man myself. Any tree is my bathroom. Eve did it. No period. Lots to be happy about, right?

At the end of the day though, there are a lot of biblical aspects of being a man that are largely skipped in our societal definition of manhood. Family spiritual leadership that models God's love is not in the book. Consistently seeking to serve others is not generally championed as a 'manly' trait. Giving up our own desires? No way.

Sooo, we have our work cut out for us to teach young Joshua a very different view of manliness than he will see in media, culture and society. Because if I'm not living it, how can he believe it? Ouch.

How do you help your sons define their role as men?

Don J.

The perfect push-up?

Halfway through the first Fitness Friday and things are going well.

I was just reflecting on a strange tendency, and I wonder if this is typical…

As I pondered concepts for this blog and started doing a little bit of light stretching and weight exercise, it made me want to buy stuff. While shopping for shoebox presents with my wife, I almost spent $20 on some eight pound dumbbells.. the nice touchy-feely ones.

But what I know from experience is that the motivation that comes with new stuff doesn't last very long.

If I am not doing push-ups on the floor every night now, then I'm not going to do "perfect push-ups" either.

I want my son to know that marketers and advertising gurus make a living telling us that what they are selling will change help us change. And that is why I can probably get my dumbbells at a pawn shop for cheaper.

Just Friday no more

I like alliteration, so Friday for me is now Fitness Friday.

Each Friday will be the day I come clean on the week's work in that area, and hopefully that will be some accountability for me and encouragement for you.

Goals are important if you want to improve...

I will lose five pounds each month until the baby gets here (starting at 251 lbs)

I will also improve flexibility and muscle tone through exercise.

There are a few diet ideas kicking around in my head, but primarily it is the "Eating that would be stupid" diet that lost me 20 pounds several years ago.

Basically, for each food item stop and think... would eating this be stupid? And if the answer is yes, don't eat it. That last part has been my downfall for years.

Fried is out, red meat is limited to steak and sodas are only on the table if water or tea is not available.

On the exercise front, 30 minutes, four times a week.

So here this goes..

Week 1

251 lbs

Also, I will now be tweeting as 'learntodad'... please come follow along.

Gentlemen, start your engines

I am incredibly unprepared for fatherhood and feel pretty daunted by the task at this point.

This point being about five months before my son is due in early April.

34 birthdays, 8.5 years of marriage, hours of classroom time and even more time on the internet and still I am lacking confidence.

As best I can tell from the experienced folks around me, that growing bump on my wife's belly will unleash a firestorm of self-doubt and incompetence that will make a first kiss seem like a walk in the park. And that is just about diaper duty.

Sooo.. I start this blog for two reasons.

First, I want to be a really good dad and sharing information is what I love to do.. prospective dads come learn with me.

Second, which is probably more important, I need to learn from all of you dads who have gone through this already. If you failed, the rest of us can use that too.

There are three areas (at least for now) that I have decided to focus on to become a great dad...

Spiritual.

Despite an entire lifetime in church and following Jesus from the middle of the crowd, I have a long way to go. For my son to make sense of my faith when he is developing his own, mine better be genuine and honest to the core of my being.

Physical.

My laziness and lack of priority in the fitness department has led to about 50 excess pounds of lard between my knees and my shoulders. That plus family history of diabetes = bad news. For me to actively participate in my son's life and help him do better than I have... I have to do better.

Husbanding. (as opposed to husbandry)

God blessed me with an amazing, talented, smart and hard-working wife. And she cooks. To this point our relationship has been as wonderful as two middle-class DINKs in suburbia could imagine.

Our jobs, house, cars and roles will all likely change tremendously in short order. Maintaining the love, spark, sanity and support has to be done to succeed. And it will take new efforts and methods that will be new to us.

Please join me on the journey.

Lots of guys have done this, how hard can it really be?

I have successfully held this baby! And that is a start.

Don J.